When finding yourself there is a process in which you need to follow, in order, to succeed. You hear people say that “I’m going to travel the world and find myself”. Really traveling the world will not make you find yourself. That comes from within you. You need to get to know yourself. I know that sounds crazy but let me explain. Sometimes in our life’s we get so wrapped up in being a wife, a mother, a good employee, etc., and we lose track of who we are. We are so busy doing for others that we forget to do for ourselves.
So often we lose track of what makes us happy, what makes us laugh. We lose track of our dreams and goals and what we want for ourselves. If you find yourself at this point in life, lost, unhappy with yourself and feeling like something needs to change than it is time to find yourself and take control of your own happiness in life and your own destiny.
By taking the steps below you will set yourself on a course of self-discovery.
1. Accept who you are-Don’t waste your time trying to be someone you are not. So maybe you are not as skinny as you would like to be or perhaps you wish you were taller. We all have things we don’t like about ourselves. If we focus on them we are not allowing ourselves to see the positive within us. Instead of focusing on the negative things about yourself, start focusing on all the positive that makes you who you are. Embrace who you are. The more positive you see yourself the more you can accept yourself.
Discover Who You Are
2. Don’t be afraid to discover who you are- “One must discover himself before discovering the world”. Find your passion, find what makes you happy, what makes you tick. What are your likes and dislikes, what is your favorite activity? What are your beliefs, your morals, or your values? Have a look at yourself. What do you like about yourself, what do you dislike.
By really evaluating yourself you can discover what really makes you who you are. Embrace your good qualities and resolve to work on the things about yourself you do not like. We’re not perfect by no means, you will find fault in yourself, it won’t all be good. But the best we can do for ourselves is to love the good qualities and work on the rest. We will then be able to better our way of life, by understanding and loving ourselves.
3. Question Yourself-How do you perceive yourself? What causes you to become angry or jealous? Do you let things bother you or do you just let them go? Are you a socializer or would you rather be by yourself? What is it you want out of life? What do you think may be holding you back from accomplishing your goals? The more you question yourself and your choices the better you can understand and know yourself.
4. Rely on Yourself-All too often we rely on others to help us in our situations. It may be, you are insecure about making your own choices or decisions. You find it easier to put it off on someone else. You may feel you are not strong enough or you don’t have the knowledge needed, you can always find an excuse.
But every time you tell yourself you can’t do it without even trying you are failing yourself. You are denying yourself the satisfaction of accomplishment. The delight of knowing you did it yourself. No one else has your dreams, goals, and ambitions. You are the only one that is going to chase after them. They only happen if you make them happen. So. don’t rely on others to make your life what you want it to be. Rely on yourself.
5. Find your Strengths-What are you good at? What is the stuff in your life that makes you feel powerful, are you a great mom, wife, sibling, how about a great cook. Maybe you are a good gardener or a good listener. Finding your strengths give you encouragement to reach your goals. The confidence you need to succeed and the ability to see what you can accomplish.
6. Find your Quiet Space, your Solitude-When finding yourself you will need to get away from family, friends, and social media. Find a quiet area or a favorite place to be by yourself. You can then focus on you and finding your inner self. You can get in touch with your beliefs, ideas, thoughts, and insecurities. Spend the time finding what you want from yourself and from your life. Dream your dreams, make your plans or just use the solitude to find clarity with yourself.
7. Help Others-By helping others we find our own appreciation of ourselves and our lives. It gives us the opportunity to discover our compassion, gratitude, and the ability to see the good in our own life, as well as in our own actions. Finding yourself and changing your life may result in you changing someone else’s life as well.
8. Do Something New- Take a class, start a hobby, find something you always wanted to do and do it. Start that art project or take that writing class you been thinking about. When you follow your dreams, your thoughts, or your ideas you find a part of yourself that we often hide away. You find your creativity, your uniqueness. You find what may or may not make you happy.
But, you will never know what brings these things out of you until you try something new. So, go ahead, take that class or start a new hobby. You will be glad you did.
Do Something for Yourself
9. Yes, You Do Have Time for That-Sometimes we deny ourselves things in life because we don’t have enough time. For most of us, this is a lie we tell ourselves. Is it we don’t have the time, or we don’t make the time. Maybe what we desire seems too hard to accomplish. It could be you think you are too old to start something new. The truth is you are never too old to start something new.
And as for time, if you desire something enough then you will find a way to give yourself the time you need. You may need to get up earlier or prepare dinner at a different time. You could give up that T.V. show you think you have to always watch. If we want something bad enough we find a way to make it work. You never know what you could accomplish in your life or how you could change your life until you get out there and do it.
10. What is your Purpose-Why are you here? This is a question only you can answer. Start by asking yourself a few more questions. What is it you love to do? What is it you are great at? Your purpose in life does not come down to one answer. You need to get out there and chase your dreams, work toward your goals, and find what you are passionate about. Find that one thing that you can’t wait to get out of bed for and can’t drag yourself away from at night. Find that passion and you find your purpose.
Finding Your Inner Child
11. Connect with your past-What was it you loved doing as a child, what you just could not get enough of? What was it you loved doing with your friends? How did you spend your time? The things you did as your younger self, you know, back before you had families, bills, jobs. These are the places you find your true self. These are the places that you found happiness without being dictated by someone else. That is the true you, the person that carved you into what you are today. When you look back you find that lost or often just forgotten part of yourself (that person that was going to change the world). This is who you were before the world turned you into what you are today. That was your true self. So, go ahead, find that person again.
12. Surprise yourself-Go bungee jumping, take that hike, or start that business you have been dreaming about. Change your attitude about your goals in life. Instead of saying to yourself I would like to start a business, tell yourself I am going to start a business then act upon it. Don’t let anyone derail your plans. Surprise yourself with your abilities. Remember that you can accomplish anything your heart desires if you just take action.
Strive toward Finding Yourself
By utilizing the steps above you will explore your inner self, you will find what makes you tick, find your good and your bad side. But most importantly, you will find yourself. What you stand for, your likes, your dislikes, your strengths and your weaknesses. You will find out who you are. Life has a way of changing fast so remember to check back in with yourself from time to time. Always strive to understand yourself so you can be your best self.